The Wonderful Tar Baby

Brer Fox was doing what he usually did - trying to catch Brer Rabbit. But he'd be danged if this time he didn't catch that pesky varmint once and for all! Brer Fox mixed up a big pot of stickey tar and pulled and patted it into the shape of a baby. Then he lolloped up the road, set the tar baby sitting in the dust, and went to lay low in the ditch.

By and by, Brer Rabbit came bouncing down the road. "Good morning," he greeted the tar baby, "nice day, ain't it?"

But the tar baby didn't utter a word.

"I SAYS," shouted Brer Rabbit, just in case the tar baby hadn't cleaned his ears recently, "GOOD MORNING! NICE DAY, AIN'T IT?"

The tar baby just stared straight ahead.

"Ain't you got no manners?" Brer Rabbit asked, crossly.

Still the tar baby stayed silent.

By this time, Brer Rabbit was hopping from foot to foot, madder than a snake in a wasps'nest. "You'd better speak to me civil-like or else!" he hollered.

But the tar baby simply ignored Brer Rabbit.

"Well I guess you've done gone and asked for this!" Brer Rabbit shrieked.

BLIP! He thumped e tar baby straight in the mouth - and his fist was stuck fast to the tar baby's face. "You let me go!" Brer Rabbit yelled. "Let me go - or I'll let you have another!"

BLAM! Brer Rabbit socked the tar baby again and his other fist became glued to its head.

SMACK! He kicked the tar baby and was left hopping around on one leg.

WALLOP!  another kick and the tar baby was holding him off the ground. "Right, you've really had it now!" Brer Rabbit screamed.

THUNK! he headbutted the tar baby and found himself stuck eye-to-eye.

All this time, Brer Fox had been holding on to so much laughter he thought he was going to burst. He leapt out of his hiding place and howled, "My, oh my, Brer Rabbit! What type of mess have you got yourself into this time?"

"I suppose you're gonna have a tasty barbecued bunny for supper," Brer Rabbit admitted.

"Yep!" grinned Brer Fox, licking his lips.

"Well I'm glad you're going to dress me up with some sauce and warm me over your fire," Brer Rabbit smiled. "I'd much rather you did that than throw me in that briar patch over there."

Hang on a minute, thought Brer Fox, and his face fell. That no-good rabbit seems quite pleased about being roasted! "I've changed my mind," Brer Fox said. "I'm gonna hang you instead."

"Ain't I glad it's good ol' hangin' and not being thrown in the briar patch!" sighed Brer Rabbit.

Brer Fox frowned. "I mean, I'm going to drown you!" he snarled.

"Fine, fine," smiled Brer Rabbit gaily. "Dip me in the water and at least I"ll die clean. Just don't throw me in that there briar patch, that's all!"

At that, Brer Fox was sure that the very worst thing he could do to Brer Rabbit was to hurl him into the briar patch. He grabbed him round the waist and pulled him hard and - SHLUP! - Brer Rabbit came unstuck from the tar baby. Brer Fox spun rpund and round and - WHEEEEEEE! - Brer Rabbit went siling high into the air and came down - DONK! - into the briar patch.

Brer Fox beganto smile contentedly. "I've bested that bunny once and for all!" he chuckled.

A high-pitched giggle came from the far side of the briar patch, and when Brer Fox squinted into the sunshine, he could just see Brer Rabbit hopping away in the distance. :I was born and bred in a briar patch, Brer Fox!" he was singing.

Brer Fox boiled with rage and thumped the very first thing that came to hand. And you know what that was, don't you?

By Uncle Remus
Copyright Ⓒ Miles Kelly Publishing Ltd 2011